Another Story (cont.)

Let's continue with our Space Odyssey and Star War crossover essay. The topic I was writing about is:

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree?

In the previous post, I have already written my introduction and two supporting paragraphs. According to our 5-paragraph structure, I still need a third body paragraph to talk about the opposite point of view and one conclusion.

For the third body paragraph, we need the following two elements:

1) Opposing argument - one sentence is enough
2) Rebuttal - be brief, normally two sentences

Those who harbour the view that funds for space research should be spent elsewhere might suggest that there are other problems in our society that need money more urgently, for instance, poverty and burdens in education and medical sectors. However, while space research might seem less pressing an issue, it could also offer creative, alternative and possibly more sustainable solutions to our current problems. From this perspective, space research is absolutely relevant to our current and future social development.

Compared to the previous two body paragraphs, this one should be a little shorter. It is important to bear in mind this ratio because our word limit is 250 words. A merit for follow the 5-paragraph approach is that you will definitely meet the word count. A demerit of the structure is that if you write too much in the third body paragraph, your essay will very likely be too long. As long as your marker has the right to lower your grade when your essay is 30 words or more off-limit, it is always wise to restrain yourself from over-expanding your paragraphs, especially the third body paragraph.

Finally, for conclusion, we should include two things as well:
1) Paraphrase your stand in one sentence
2) A projection to the future - one to two sentences

In conclusion, I believe science research deserves financial investment, insofar as it would provide valuable insights into the survival of the human race. Thus, governments should seriously consider budgeting funds for this field. It is indeed time to adopt farsighted approaches in planning for our planet's future.

A trick to construct a high sounding final statement is to give some advice to governments regarding school education, investment or community program. They make sound like empty statements, but they do work. 

So it's not that hard to write a well-organised essay after all. More on coherence and cohesion next time. 

Anyone following Le Tour de France these days? I watch a bit. Since I'm on this "futuristic" essay topic, let me tell you about a new invention for cyclists. It is the INVISIBLE HELMET. What? Well, it is actually an airbag device that you wear like a scarf around your neck when you cycle. When an accident happens, the airbag will pop out to wrap around your head like a helmet. Sounds cool, doesn't it? It has already been approved in many European countries but Australia is yet to have it. I would really be interested in getting one when they do arrive. God knows I'm a clumsy cyclist...

Another Story

Last time I told you a funny story about myself in the Melbourne storm. How about a prince and princess story this time?

I like opera. I like both Chinese and Western operas. Some may say the emotion and acting in this art form tend to exaggerate, but it is exactly what this art form is about. It sets out to tell a story and makes sure you know it is a story, i.e. you don't see it everyday in your life. To put it in a literary way, it is an elevated reality that means to charm and to mesmerise. I listen to opera music a lot, I find it purifying... 

In case you're not familiar with opera, here is a sample for you. Nessun Dorma (None Shall Sleep) - one of the most popular opera songs - is an extract from Turandot, an opera written by Puccini. It is sung in Italian but guess what? The story is actually set in Peking! It's about a cruel Chinese princess and her suitors... Well, listen to it if you haven't already done so. Then listen to it again. Don't you want to cry sometimes when you encounter something so stunningly beautiful?

Okay, dry your tears now. That was our classic story of the day.

I introduced the 5-paragraph essay structure in the last post and let's look at how it is applied in the sample essay below.

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree?

This is a standard agree/disagree question. I always find it easier to take sides rather than arguing for both.
You can say "I totally/absolutely/strongly/to a large extent agree/disagree with the statement" depending on how strong you think your points are. The beauty of writing five paragraphs is that no matter how far you agree, you still write two supporting points and one opposing point.

For introduction, we should include two things: 1) Paraphrase the question, 2) State your point of view. Like this:

Many nations nowadays assign significant ratio of their budget on space research. Whereas knowledge about the astronomy is obviously beneficial to human beings, it is argued that money should be more wisely spent on other aspects of our life. I strongly disagree with the latter point of view.

Some students like to reveal their point of view only at the end of the essay. It is not illegal but imagine you are an IELTS examiner and you have already read five hundred essays since 9am. Would you feel your patience is being stretched a little bit when you have to tread through another 250 words (with grammatical mistakes and all) to arrive at a perspective only in the conclusion? That's why I think you would do your examiner a favour by stating your opinion at the onset.

For the first two body paragraphs, we need two supporting arguments and each paragraphs should be arranged in the following way:
1) Topic sentence
2) Explain
3) Evidence
4) Link back

To begin with, we should note that developing space engineering would be a global trend in the centuries to come. Due to the advancement of internet and digital technology, our scientific research is expanding further into the space. We need more satellites and space stations to support our frequent interactions with people from all over the world. Insofar as worldwide communication is a major practical component in our modern life, we should invest on space research.

Secondly, venturing into the space might help us find solutions to many problems in our planet. As we know, we are facing issues of energy crisis, food shortage and severe pollution, just to name a few. There could be abundant resources in other planets that we can utilise. It is possible that we might even discover another planet suitable for us to reside. In short, space research is absolutely essential for the existence of the human race and thus deserves investment.

I know, the two paragraphs above look really colourful and the ideas sound more and more Star War-like, but you got the gist of how to structure the first two body paragraphs.

Actually, to present an argument is not unlike telling a story - our words need to be coherent and cohesive so that others can follow. In other words, there got to be glue to stick your passage together so it doesn't fall apart. But allow me to break the flow at this point, I'll explain what I mean by that and continue the space essay next time :)